📡 Communications Blackout

We’re currently experiencing elevated telemetry noise due to unexpected Flerf signal interference.

🛰️ Contact Console Temporarily Unavailable

Our ground staff are swamped triangulating anomalous curvature claims and decoding scrambled Flerf dispatches. Message queues are overflowing, and we’ve detected high-frequency nonsense emissions across multiple bands.

For now, please stand by as we realign our orbital uplinks. Transmission restoration is expected once Mikey's van completes a figure-eight maneuver across the North Pole.

Status: 🔴 Offline
ETA: ∞ (give or take a parsec)
Signal Strength: ☁️🥔📡